The NTS Official Blog | Made Up News | WTF News | NSFW
Home
Blog
James B'Old
Made Up News
WTF News
 
Links
Contact Us
Submit an article
 

Your Ad Here

 

 

Different Family Weddings Allowed

Mobile Phone Makers Admit to Murder!

The makers of cell phones today admitted to murdering MUSIC.

Your Ad Here

We just bought some new mobiles for the office, so we could communicate better with each other, twitter or even post to Flicker direct from our phones.

One of these phones is the Nokia N81. The N81 has a camera, web browser, etc, and 8 gigabytes of storage space. Which means you can store a lot of music, pictures, porn etc. and everyone can have there own favorite song as their, annoying ringtone!

Jan, one of the girls here in the NTS office has Pink, So What as here ringtone. Now we love Pink, good music, slightly crazy and very sexy. But when you hear “So what, I am a rock star, I got my rock moves” 30 times a day, well you get the picture.

We asked Nokia chief designer Alastair Curtis “Why are you killing music?

“Everything we do starts with people. And people want more capacity on their phones, so in reality it’s the speakers and headphones that suck and we have to keep the cost down, so you will buy a new phone every time we release the latest one!”

One of the best features of the N81 is the headphone socket is a standard jack so you can plug in good headphones and it does sound better.

Not quite this.

Nokia with Linn Speakers
Nokia N81 with Linn Speakers

But it is a bit better

We called Sony Ericsson and spoke to Bjorn Borg from their design centre in Lund, Sweden.

He told us, “design is about more than just a good looking product: it is integrated into every step of the process – intelligent features, user-friendly applications, innovative materials and, of course, attractive visual appearance.”

We asked, “So why are you killing music?”

“Well it is a cost and size factor, we can not put expensive speakers inside a cheap, plastic phone. And big speakers will not fit.”

“But,” Bjorn continued, “We have designed an easy way to change your tune: just shake your phone. With Shake control activated, press and hold the Walkman® key and flick your wrist. A vibration lets you know that the track has been changed - a new song from your current playlist is randomly selected and automatically played. This is one of the new features on the W760.”

W760 Shaky Phone
W760 Shaky Phone

We tried to contact Google about the new Google android platform, and if the sound drivers would improve the audio quality.

The told us, “The best features of Android is Pac Man, and the unlocking, shape drawing thingy, now go away.”

We asked Andrew McAngus of Linn, "Why it is so hard to make cheap, good and small speakers or headphones for mobile phones?"

He told us about the structure of Mp3 files.

MP3 File Structure
MP3 File Structure

 

Now we are not going to bore you with the tecnicalities of this, because we didn't understand one bit of it.

So I guess we will just have to wait until someone invents a new kind of speaker for our mobile phones. And if the recession does hit we will all be using paper cups and string anyway. And maybe even writing letters by hand.

Can you remember how to do that?

 

Home

More Made Up News

 

 
©Copyright Nothing To Serious 2009