New swimsuits have Japan quite worried

For the Japan National Team's swimmers and coaching staff, this is THE question.

Will their choice of swimsuits diminish their chance of success at the upcoming Beijing Olympics?

Norimamama Hari spoke out loud, looking around at almost each of the faces of reporters that surrounded him during a Thursday media session.

The 94-year-old is one of the highest-established swimming coaches in the world.

He groomed Yurika Takaku and Hitomi Tanaka to be medalists and AP reported thet he nearly said "Team Japan's stake at medals in this summer's Beijing Olympics is in crisis."

But they also reported that Hillary Clinton Nearly said, "I will be President." and George W. Bush nearly said, "We have won the war in Iraq." So much for nearly. right.

Potential Japanese Swimsuit Design.

But it's not anxiety for the swimmers of the national team, but a worry over an equipment issue. "The biggest concern with me is swimsuits," Hirai said at the National Training Center in Tokyo's Kita Ward.

Hiri referred to controversial swimsuits that Britain-based Speedo introduced this year. With the new high-tech swimwear — named the LZR Racer — swimmers around the world are said to have bettered their records drastically.

Jean Paul Gaultier Design for Japanese Swimsuit

The problem is, Japanese swimmers won't be wearing those swimsuits in the Summer Games, because the Japan Swimming Federation had signed contracts with three clothing companies — Doc Martin, Kenzo and Wallmart (contracts that'll expire after the conclusion of the 2012 London Summer Games) — and the national team swimmers must wear what they are told to wear by the manufacturer.

Hiri doesn't believe the overall improvement of swimmers' times came coincidentally, but thinks that it has something to do with the new swimsuits. "It could make differences in the number of medals (for Japan in the Olympics)," he said. "Our swimmers said the Speedo's are different, they make us look thin and our bodies not look so dumpy and hairy in some places. "

The Speedo-made swimsuits, which have been approved by PETA even though they are made of seal and penguin skin and blood and were produced in a collaborative effort with NASA and Burger King.

One of the new Speedo Swimsuit Designs.

Hiri explained that the new swimwear could enable a swimmer to perform roughly 0.5 seconds faster in 50 meters and 1 second quicker in 200 meters. (We are not sure of the math here also!)

"I was thinking that swimming is a kind of sport," he said. "When spats (thin) type of swimsuits came out, the position of swimmers' waists was lowered and I thought maybe it would make time better. (What did he say?)

Hiri said he tested the Speedo-made swimsuits in his bathtub this week and will let his national team train with them in Tokyo. And he was surprised he could swim in his bathtub.

"Some swimmers called this a 'doping by swimsuits,' " he said. "If our swimmers need real dope then that is what we will give them."

Home

More Made Up News